Wedding Advice

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WEDDING ATTIRE

Bridal gowns, like other wedding customs, are wide open to personal preference. There are so many styles and fabrics from which to choose! The choice is yours completely. Take the time to look through bridal magazines to get some idea of what you would like. There will be a wedding dress perfect for you no matter what style or tone you want to set for your wedding.

There are a number of things to consider when choosing your wedding dress:

• The size and type of wedding you want. For a formal wedding, white or ivory is traditional with a long dress in any elegant fabric and a headpiece with a veil. For a semiformal wedding your choices are the same, but not quite as formal. For an informal wedding you may choose whatever is tasteful and becoming to you. Headpieces should be coordinated with whatever dress you choose.
• Also keep in mind the season of the year – you will want to wear fabrics that are comfortable and appropriate. Basically, there are two design seasons – spring/summer and fall/winter.
• Choose a dress that is becoming to your figure, height and taste. Take the time to note the full effect of a dress, since your guests will see more of the back of you than the front during the ceremony.
• Consider the budget with which you are working. Of course, you want the gown of your dreams, but be down-to-earth on the maximum amount you can afford to spend. When going to the bridal shops, inform the consultant of your price range, which will provide a guideline as to which dresses to show you.
• Shop for your dress at least six months in advance of the wedding date. Most dresses have to be special-ordered, and you will need to have alterations made (see Alterations below). This will also ensure that your dress arrives in time for the wedding!
• When going for fittings, wear the undergarments, shoes, and accessories that you plan to wear on your wedding day.
• Accessories should be kept to a minimum. Perhaps a pair of small earrings or a necklace of gold or pearls would give the finishing touch to your appearance.
• Most shops require a deposit when you place your order. Payment and cancellation policies vary, so inquire beforehand. Some allow a five-day cancellation period; others place the order immediately, which means you must forfeit your deposit and pay for the dress. Keep all slips. Be sure everything promised is in writing and read the sale agreement carefully. The delivery date of the dress and headpiece should also be included.

If you allow enough time to shop for your dress, and work closely with the bridal shop consultant, you’ll find the dress that’s uniquely you! Here are some figure suggestions (which can also apply to your bridesmaids):

Short, Petite Brides:

• A-Line and Sheath look best.
• Stay away from bouffant skirts.
• Consider beautiful detailing at the neckline to draw the eye to the face.
• Avoid details like ruffles on the skirt and dangling beads on the sleeves.
• Wear a taller headpiece, like a tiara style.

Tall, Thin Brides:

• Good news - You can wear just about any style you want.

Full-figured Brides:

• Light weight satins, chiffons, crepes and silk shantungs work best.
• Avoid bulky fabrics like velvets and heavy satins.
• Avoid glossy fabrics like shiny satin and go for the matte finish.
• V-necks, keyholes and scoop necklines help de-emphasize the bust-line.
• Go for fitted sleeves and avoid puff or full sleeves.
• Empire waists and A-lines work best.
• Avoid mermaid and form-fitting sheath silhouettes and skip the back bow.
• Avoid the large, pouf veil, but go for beautiful jewelry or pretty headpiece.
• Carry a small bouquet, rather than a mass of flowers.

Pale Skinned Brides:

• Go for warmer, natural and ivory colors.
• Avoid white, which tends to wash out already fair skin.

Darker Skinned Brides:

• Most fabric colors will look great.
• The only exception is African-American, Hispanics and other dark skin should stay away from ivory colors with yellow undertones, since that hue may not compliment a dark skin tone.
• Consider pale "rum pink" colors available from some manufacturers.

The following is a guideline to help you better understand "bridal shop talk" when shopping for your wedding attire.

Sleeves

• Bishop – fuller in the lower forearm, then gathered at wrist into a wide cuff.
• Dolman – extending from an armhole so large it creates a cape-like effect, often fitted at the wrist.
• Leg-of-mutton (or Gigot) – full, loose, rounded from shoulder to slightly below elbow, then nipped in at wrist.
• Melon – extravagantly rounded from shoulder to elbow.
• Puff – gathered into gentle puff near shoulders.

Silhouettes

• Ball gown – appealing, off-the-shoulder yoke, or fitted bodice, and a natural, fitted waist with lavish, full skirt. Probably the most traditional.
• Basque – natural waist with V-front and a full skirt.
• Empire – small, scooped bodice gathering at high waist (right under the bustline), a slim yet full skirt.
• A-line or Princess – slim-fitting style, with vertical seams flowing from shoulders down to hem of flared skirt. Unlike the ball gown, the waistline is not as defined. This fits many different body types.
• Sheath – narrow, body-hugging style without a waist.
• Mermaid-style gown - a variation of the Sheath, which is also form-fitting but flares out below the knees.

Lengths of Dresses and Trains

• Street Length – hem just covering knees.
• Intermission Length – hem falling slightly below or midway between the knee and ankle.
• Ballet Length – hem swirling to ankles.
• Floor Length – hem fully skimming the floor.
• Sweep Train – shortest train, barely sweeping the floor.
• Court Train – a train extending one foot longer than the sweep train.
• Chapel Train – most popular of all bridal trains – trailing about 1 1/3 yards from waist.
• Cathedral Train – worn at a very formal wedding – tumbling 2 ½ yards from waist.
• Extended Cathedral Train, unfolding 3 yards from waist.

Necklines

• High – collar just brushing the chin.
• Off-the-shoulder – gracefully hovering above bustline, sometimes attached to a sheer net yoke and high collar.
• Boat or Bateau – gently following curve of the collarbone – high in front and back, opening wide at sides, ending in shoulder seams.
• Queen Anne – rising high at the nape (back) of neck, then sculpting low to outline a bare yoke.
• Square – shaped like half of a square.
• Sweetheart – shaped like the top half of a heart.

Fabrics

• Brocade – heavy fabric with interwoven, raised design that has a contrasting white-on-white or ivory-on-ivory look. Commonly designed with a floral pattern.
• Charmeuse - lightweight version of satin with a softer and more clingy look that is common with silk or rayon, but with less body than silk fabrics.
• Chiffon – delicately sheer, a simple weaving – often of silk or rayon, although it can be made from just about any fiber – with a soft or stiff finishing. It is often layered and has an unusual luster.
• Crepe - thin, light fabric with a ridged or finely crinkled surface.
• Damask - similar to brocade (above) but of lighter weight.
• Duchess Satin - may also be called silk-faced satin - weighs less and is less expensive than traditional silk finishes. Most are a blend of silk and polyester woven into a satin finish.
• Dupioni - coarse fibers of various thinknesses woven into a crispy textured fabric with many visible natural twists of fiber.
• Faille - ribbed fabric with structure and body, woven from silk, cotton, rayon or polyester.
• Gazar - variation of Organza (below) that has a sheer effect with a stiff or starched feel.
• Georgette - a type of crepe (above) with a dull texture.
• Jersey - softly draping, machine knit fabric made from fibers like silk, rayon and nylon.
• Matelasse - textured fabric woven to look like embossing.
• Moire – silk taffeta that, when illuminated, glistens like water.
• Organdy - crisp, transparent fabric made from cotton.
• Organza – sheer, crisply textured fabric, almost transparent.
• Satin - tightly woven with a sheen on one side. Can have a high gloss or matte finish. Generally made from polyester.
• Shantung - originally silk, but now may be polyester. Has a rough, nubby appearance that is soft and light weight.
• Silk-faced Satin – brimming with body, with a dusty sheen.
• Slipper Satin – light, soft – a more closely woven fabric.
• Taffeta – smooth, glossy – a finely textured fabric with body.
• Tulle – tiny-meshed net of silk, cotton, or synthetics.
• Twill - fibers woven with a diagonal pattern.
• Polyester may also be used for dresses, alone or blended with natural fibers, like poly-organza or poly-chiffon.
• Velvet - thick napped weave, available in silk, cotton or rayon blends. Crushed velvet has a high and low nap to give it a shimmering look.

Headpieces

• Coronet – wreath resting high on crown of the head.
• Floral Wreath – circlet of flowers which can nestle on top of the head or at mid-forehead.
• Half Hat – small hat covering half, or less than half, of crown.
• Juliet Cap – small cap, ornately festooned with pearls and jewels that snugly hugs the crown.
• Mantilla – lace-trimmed netting usually secured to an elegant comb, gently framing the face.
• Picture Hat – ornamented hat with a very large brim.
• Tiara – crown, usually encrusted with crystals, pearls, or lace, resting high atop the head.
• Toque – small, close-fitting hat without a brim.
• Upturned Picture Hat – picture hat with brim tilting up to one side.
• Except for the Mantilla, veiling is usually attached to all of these headpieces.

Lace

• Alencon – originated in Alencon, France – a pretty, delicate, yet durable design, outlined with cord on net ground. Generally has a background of flowers and swags, may be pre-beaded or beaded after it is sewn on the dress
• Battenburg - lace made by stitching a strip of linen fabric into a loop pattern connected with thread.
• Chantilly – from Chantilly, France – graceful, floral sprays on fine lace background, outlined with silk threads or fine cording.
• Dotted Swiss - small circles of flocked fabric over a background of netting.
• Eyelet – open-weave embroidery with holes used for decorations.
• Guipure - series of motifs, like roses, daisies or ovals, connected by a few threads.
• Ribbon - random pattern of ribbon sewn over a net background.
• Schiffli – machine-made, delicate floral embroidery.
• Venise – heavy, raised, floral design, first made in Venice.

Veils

• Blusher – loose veil worn forward over face or back over the headpiece, often attached to longer, three-tiered veil.
• Flyaway – multi-layers that brush the shoulders, usually worn with an informal, ankle-length dress or a style with too-pretty-to-hide details in back.
• Birdcage – falling just below chin, gently shirred at the sides, and usually attached to hats.
• Chapel Length – tumbling 2 1/3 yards from headpiece.
• Cathedral Length – cascading 3 ½ yards from headpiece, usually worn with cathedral train.
• Ballet or Waltz Length – falling to the ankles.
• Fingertip – most popular length, gracefully touching the finger-tips.
• Most veils are made of nylon material called illusion. Decorations often include poufs, which are small gathers of veiling on the crown of a headpiece. Wreaths often have flowing ribbons called streamers, tied into "love knots."

Sizing

Bridal gowns do not correspond to regular clothing sizes. And different designers have different sizes for the same measurements. So, it is important for you to be measured (using a vinyl tape vs cloth which stretches) in 4 ways: bust, waist, hips, and length (also called hollow to hem). You should order the size that corresponds to your largest measurement. And remember, sample dresses have been tried on many times and have stretched larger than the size they show, so if this fits great, you will probably have to order a size or more larger. Dresses can always be taken in, but are difficult to let out. Bust is not necessarily your bra size, but the measurement around your chest at the fullest part of your breast, with arms to the side. The length is measured from the hollow at the base of your throat down to where you want the hem of your dress to be. This measurement should be taken with shoes on (the height you will be wearing) and if the dress has a full skirt, with the petticoat on, which will make the measurement at an angle to allow for this fullness. If you are tall, be sure the dress you want will allow for extra length (some manufacturers don't offer this). Some other measurements that may be needed include: inside sleeve length (armpit to wrist for long sleeve dresses), arm girth (around largest part of your upper arm), back shoulder width (shoulder blade to shoulder blade), waist to hem (natural waist straight down to desired hem), low hip (7 inches below natural waist), and center back (base of neck to natural waist).

Alterations

Virtually ALL wedding dresses will need to be altered. You do not need to use the seamstress from the bridal shop, so price around and find someone who has experience altering wedding dresses. The average bridal gown will require $75 to $250 in alterations (also depending on what part of the country you live). If you start adding features (like buttons and bows) or other significant changes, this could double or triple the cost. Dresses will need one or more of the following to be taken in, let out, raised, lowered or added: hem, side seams, bustle, sleeves, and shoulders. Because charges vary greatly and often shift, be sure to get all alteration promises, quotes and special deals in writing. Insist on a final fitting when all alterations are complete, before signing any release or paying the final bill. Remember alterations take time, so order your dress early to allow for this (8-12 weeks before the wedding)

Other Clothing Needs

Once you have selected your dress, you should choose the attire for your attendants. Their dresses should compliment your dress. For a formal wedding their dresses should be floor length; at a less formal wedding, they can be shorter, even if your dress is long. Again, keep in mind their height, weight and coloring. Also keep in mind their budgets since they will be paying for their own dresses. If you want to ask someone who has "limited means" to be a bridesmaid, either rethink this or consider picking up some or all of the costs. If you have bridesmaids with greatly different body types, consider A-lines, princess lines or empire-waist dresses which will work for everyone. If you have out-of-town bridesmaids, consider ordering from a mail-order service (like Discount Bridal Service) or a catalog like Talbot's. Or, get her measurements and order for her - lots of trust here (it helps to send her pictures and sample swatches). You could also consider having them sewn (buy fabric and patterns and avoid the bridal stores). This way, the out-of-towners can have their dress sewn locally and they will still all match. One money-saving idea is to pick a color and give each bridesmaid a swatch. Then they can choose a dress they like (from a department store). They won't be the same dresses, but the colors will match and make for an interesting look. Shoes should be comfortable, and should preferably be dyed to match the dresses. When deciding on bridesmaids dress colors, take into consideration the colors at your ceremony site (carpet, walls, etc.) to avoid clashes in your pictures.

Both mothers should wear a dress appropriate for the style and formality of your wedding. The mother of the bride should wear a color that blends and complements the bridesmaids' dresses, but does not match the exact color. Avoid all black or all white. The "mob" usually selects her dress first and then describes it to the mother of the groom, allowing enough time for her to shop. Both mothers can wear the same color, but not the same dress (preferably they should be the same style and length). For a very formal, large wedding before 6pm (over 200 guests): long or short dresses, not quite as formal as evening wear. For a formal wedding before 6pm (100 or more guests): elegant dresses or suits. In any event, both mothers should go with dresses that look good on them (color, figure size, personal sense of style, etc.) and they do not have to match.

The wedding attire of the groom, as well as that of the other men in the bridal party should compliment the attire of the bride and her attendants with respect to the degree of formality and the time of day for the wedding ceremony. See Grooms Guide for lots of details on the groom and groomsmen's attire. Traditionally, the groom, best man, groomsmen, ushers and both fathers dress alike, except that subtle differences in their accessories – the style of shirt, collar, tie, etc. differentiate the groom and possibly the best man from the other men. Coordinating or matching attire should be worn by the ring bearer, if there is one.

Again, looking through bridal magazines will help you get some ideas as to styles available. Plan to visit the formal wear store at least six weeks in advance of the wedding date. Take sample swatches of the bridesmaid’s dresses with you to help coordinate colors. Once you have selected the men’s formal wear, you will need to make arrangements for the men to have their measurements taken and formal wear fitted.

If you have any questions concerning the style or formality of the wedding clothes, ask your bridal shop representative or formal wear specialist. They will be able to answer any questions you may have and will be able to assist you in choosing the appropriate style for the type of wedding you have chosen.

Last Minute Fix-Up Kit

It is a good suggestion to have a handy "first aid" kit with you (or your mother) on your wedding day. A ripped hem or seam, snagged panty hose, unruly hair, etc. are problems no bride wants to put up with on her wedding day. A handy little kit – perhaps a decorated shoe box, or sewing kit – should be with the bridal party at all times. You may wish to leave it in the lady’s restroom at the place of your reception, as long as it is not a public restroom. Items to include are:

Safety pins
Band-Aids
Hair pins
Tissues
Breath mints
Hand towelettes
Nail polish
Scissors
Needle and thread to match dresses
Comb/brush
Baby powder
Scotch tape
Nail file
Tampons
Aspirin
Pantyhose
Mascara
Lip gloss
Contact lens fluid
Hair spray
Blush
And any other items you may feel necessary to have around on your big day!

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Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Now 8/20/08 1:25 PM