SHOWERS

The custom of a "bridal shower" came about when a poor Dutch miller fell in love with a maiden whose father forbade the match and refused to provide a dowry. The miller’s friends came to the rescue and "showered" the bride-to-be with enough gifts in order to start housekeeping.

The wedding shower, traditionally a get-together for women only, is now just as likely to include the female and male. A "his and her" shower is a perfect way for the bride’s friends and the groom’s friends to meet each other. It also is easier to plan showers around what both the bride and groom enjoy.

Bridal showers should be scheduled a significant time after the engagement parties, but anywhere from two months to at least two weeks before the wedding. Shower invitations should be mailed at least three weeks in advance if possible. The couple should have registered for gifts at gift registries before the showers and these can be listed, along with decorating colors, in the invitations. The time frame exception is brides who live far away from where the wedding is held. Then showers may be planned for when she is in town so she doesn't have to make extra trips. Or, if there's absolutely no time before the wedding, a shower can be given after the couple returns from their honeymoon.

Shower guests should also be invited to the wedding, unless it's an office shower. Don't invite the same friends and relatives to multiple showers (one shower gift per person/family should be enough). Although, the bride and groom's mothers and the maid of honor may come to multiples and need not bring a gift to every one.

Any friend of the bride and groom may give a shower. Traditionally, it should not be a member of their immediate families. Often, it is the maid of honor and other bridesmaids who host a shower. Plan with your friends when selecting a date, as you may be busy during this time with making other plans for your wedding day. Consult with them as to where you are registered for wedding gift ideas. Then you may wish to choose a theme for the shower. Shower theme ideas are given below:

Kitchen Shower

Kitchen showers offer a wide range of gift ideas and prices.

Gadgets/strainers, peelers, etc.
Nonstick-coated cookware/bakeware
Small appliances/clock, electric skillet, coffee maker, electric can opener, hand
Mixer, crock pot, popcorn maker, deep fryer, etc.
Cookbooks
Canister set – spice rack/spices
Cutlery – cutting board
Utensil set – measuring cups/spoons
Mugs
Salt & pepper shakers
Funnels
Kitchen towels, dish cloths, pot holders, scrub pads, dish soap, laundry soap, etc.
Aprons
Serving bowls, freezer containers, etc.

Bar Shower

Everything the couple will need for stocking a basic home bar.
Assorted liquor
Assorted wines
Assorted liqueurs
Assorted aperitifs
Mixers
Glasses/goblets/snifters
Ice bucket
Cocktail shaker
Wine rack
Bar utensils
A guide to mixing drinks
Carafe
Punch bowl
Pitchers
Coasters
Corkscrew
Blender
Ice crusher

Personal Shower

To pamper the bride and groom at this special time.

Plant Shower/Gardening Shower

Gardening tools
Variety of plants
Pots
Potting soil
Plant fertilizer
Planting utensils
Gardening equipment
Plant hangers
Gloves
Gardening clogs
Bulbs/seeds
Plant stand
Book about plants
Watering can
Sun dial
Lawn furniture

Linen Shower

Tablecloths/table runners
Napkins/napkin rings
Placemats
Dish towels/cloths
Potholder/mitts
Towels/bath, hand, guest
Bath sheets
Washcloths
Accessories
Bath mats
Scale
Sheets
Pillows
Pillowcases
Blankets
Electric blanket
Comforter
Bedspread
Pillow shams
Hamper
Rug and lid set
Shower curtain & liner

Gourmet Shower

a joint shower idea for the couple that enjoys cooking and entertaining.

Assorted prepackaged foods
Soufflé dish
Warming trays
Food processor
Stand mixer
Toaster-oven
Matching aprons
Espresso maker
Microwave/convection oven
Molds
Coffee grinder
Poachers
Crepe maker
Vegetable steamer
Wok
Vinegars
Preserves
Herbs & spices
Cheese boards/servers
Baskets
Salad spinner
Food slicer
Hibachi
Yogurt maker
Ice cream maker
Juicer
Serving bowls
Recipe books

Joint Gift Ideas

A place setting of fine china
A place setting of sterling
Informal dinnerware
Flatware
Sterling candlesticks
Crystal decanter set
Electronic games
Stereo equipment
Camera/lens
Gas grill
Sports equipment
Gift certificates
Luggage
Radio
Television
Vacuum cleaner
Garden equipment
Home video equipment

Barbecue Shower

Grill
Charcoal
Picnic basket
Picnic accessories
Lawn ornaments
Yard games (croquet, darts, horseshoes, etc.)
Barbecue utensils
Lighter fluid, starting devices
Cookbook, recipes
Yard/Ornamental lights
Insect repelling devices

Recipe Shower

Each guest brings a favorite recipe and either some of the ingredients or some of the utensils necessary to make the recipe.

Recipe cards (blank)
Recipe box
Recipe books
Recipe holders

Pantry Shower

Canned goods
Prepared foods
Anything for the kitchen cupboard–staples

Paper Shower

Table mats
Paper towels
Personalized stationery
Napkins
Magazine subscriptions
Book matches

Tupperware Shower

Anything made of Tupperware–containers, etc.

Crystal Shower

Any needed glassware, etc.

Holiday Shower

Champagne flutes for New Year's
Christmas ornaments
Christmas table linens
Seder plate for Passover
Flag for Fourth of July and Veterans Day
Turkey plate for Thanksgiving
Ceramic pumpkin for Halloween
Decorations for any other holiday

Of course, these are just some themes for showers. The list can go on and on, depending on what the couple may need or like. Just let your imagination go to work!

If the couple is beginning marriage with virtually nothing, a general shower is probably the best to give, even if you are including the groom. If they are merging households and need to fill in items, a theme shower is the most practical. This way you can indulge the couple with necessities and luxuries at the same time. In any case, consult the bridal registries, family, and mutual friends for gift suggestions. When you decide the type of shower you will hold, be sure to specify it on the invitations.

Shower Activities, Food and Games

The main event at all showers is the bride and groom opening the gifts. Make sure you have one of the hosts or a guest record the gifts and the giver so the bride will have an accurate account when writing out thank you notes. Have someone take snapshots at the shower. This may also be a nice gift from the "photographer." He/she may wish to put together a photo album of the shower.

Refreshments served will depend on the time of day you plan to hold the shower. Keep refreshments as simple as possible. Salads, casseroles, cold cuts, barbecues, sandwiches, etc. are the easiest to make and can be done ahead of time. If you have a theme shower, you may wish to coordinate the food served with the theme. A garden shower could feature vegetable salads, pasta with asparagus, etc., a bar shower could include typical finger foods, like chicken wings, mini pizzas, little wieners, etc., a gourmet shower could include quiche, various cheeses and fancy desserts, a barbeque shower could have barbeque hamburgers, chicken, etc., a holiday shower could have Christmas cookies, Easter ham, or turkey sandwiches, etc... you get the idea.

Games and other fun activities liven up a shower, but don't have too many or play them for too long. Some ideas can include:

• Dice Doubles - wrap up a bunch of small gifts in colorful and different sized packages. Have two sets of dice rotate around the guests (in pie tins). Each person shakes and when they get a double, they pick a gift. When all gifts are gone, set a time limit (10 minutes or so) and then when doubles are rolled, gifts are taken away from those who have them. When the time is up, everyone gets to open and keep their gifts.
• Bride Bingo - make bingo cards that instead of numbers, have gift items that the bride is likely to receive. As she opens her gifts, the guests mark off the items they have on their cards. Whoever gets bingo first (or comes closest), receives a gift. This keeps guests interested in everything the bride opens. Ready made bridal bingo cards can be ordered online.
• Make a montage or album - have each guest bring a favorite photo of the bride, groom or couple. They can then tell the story of the photo (which should be recorded or brought along with the picture). These can then be given to the bride as keepsakes.
• Pin the Boutonniere on the Groom - Blow up a photo of the groom and then blindfold guests one at a time and have them pin a paper flower on him. The guest who gets closest to the left lapel wins a prize.
• Bridal Jeopardy - The shower hostess compiles a series of trivia questions about the bride and groom and then asks the guests to phrase the questions. Example: (Answer "Champs Bar". Question "Where did they meet".) The guest who guesses the most wins a prize.
• Bridal Questions - Have a sheet of paper with questions about the bride and groom that may not be obvious to most people. Give them pencils and a time limit and the guest who completes the most questions correctly wins a prize. You can also give prizes for least answered, second most, etc. Questions like, where did they meet, where did they go for their first date, where did they get engaged, what's their favorite food, etc.
• Who/What am I - pin words on the back of guests (like: groom, church, unity candle, cake, etc.) and then everyone has to ask yes or no questions of the other guests to guess who/what they are. The first one to guess correctly gets a prize.