We would like to give a 12 year old daughter a family ring and we would also like to light a memorial candle. We don't have a clue on what to say or do. Please help.

I think it's very touching and a great gesture to give your daughter a family ring - it should help to make her feel a big part of this ceremony and family. If she is included in the wedding party, she would already be standing and close to both of you. After your ring ceremony, you could either have her move to stand by you or you both could walk to her for her ring ceremony. Or, if she is seated, the same choices hold true. Instead of the wording of "with this ring I thee wed" you could say something like "with this ring, we unite our family" or "as a symbol of our love for you, we give you this ring" or wording that expresses your desires in giving it to her.

As for the candle lighting, you could just light it without comment in the ceremony and then in the program print your sentiment. Or it could be read/spoken as you light the candle. Or the candle could be lit just before the ceremony and burn throughout. For my daughter's wedding, both her father and the groom's father have died. Here's what they printed on the back of their program: Our only regret for this day is that our fathers were not able to be physically present. They are both continually in our thoughts and we have honored them today by lighting two candles on the altar in their memory. They may have left our sides, but will always be present with us in our hearts.