CEREMONY PLANNING

First of all, you will have to decide on what type of wedding you want to have. This will depend on the amount of money you want to spend, the number of guests you want to invite, where and when your ceremony and reception will be held, and the degree of formality you want your wedding to express.

A Formal wedding means that you basically want to conform to strict traditional rites both of the church and of secular society. Generally, a formal wedding is larger both in size of wedding party and number of guests invited, and features more elaborate decorations, attire, invitations, and reception arrangements, than a semi-formal or informal wedding.

Semi-formal weddings basically stay with tradition, but everything is slightly less elaborate and more flexible than a formal wedding. Semi-formal weddings may take place in a church, a club, or a hotel.

An Informal wedding can be either a simple ceremony or you can let your imagination go to work. Informal weddings normally have a smaller wedding party and fewer guests than formal or semi-formal weddings.

If you plan on a church wedding, you should make an appointment to meet with your clergy-person as soon as possible after you set your wedding date. He/she will be able to advise you on any premarital requirements, such as counseling, that the church may require. He/she can also answer any questions you may have concerning the ceremony itself (see below). He/she can guide you in the selection of music, any church wedding customs, and help you with special vows or other liturgical elements you would like to have in your wedding service. He will also be able to tell you if there are any restrictions concerning church flowers, photography, fire laws, church capacity, availability of kneelers and other equipment, and dressing facilities for attendants.

If you are planning to have a civil ceremony, you should talk to the justice of the peace or judge who will marry you to set a date, time, and place for the ceremony. Usually, only the immediate family and a few guests attend.

You may decide to have your wedding ceremony in a hotel or club, with either a civil or religious person officiating. Keep in mind that many of the items you will need may not be supplied, so you will have to rent them. Check with the hotel to see which items are available.

A home wedding can be formal or informal. Keep in mind the number of guests that your home can comfortably accommodate. Don’t move all the furniture out just to make more room or you will lose the "homey" atmosphere you wanted in the first place.

If you plan an outdoor ceremony, keep in mind that the weather may not always cooperate and have an alternate location readily available. Try to pick a quiet spot without much traffic, general outdoor noise, etc.

If you plan to have your wedding ceremony take place in a location other than a church, keep in mind the preparations you will have to make. Things to consider are how accessible the site is, what facilities exist for guest parking and seating, and what equipment is available.

When determining the date and time of your wedding, your work/school schedule, convenience for families, and your honeymoon plans should be taken into consideration. Saturday is usually the day chosen for weddings, but any day is acceptable. In fact, many weddings are being held on Friday evenings because of the better availability of reception halls.

Everything must be rehearsed. The only way to be sure all goes well is to rehearse the ceremony. Everyone must attend. It is helpful for all of the attendants to hear the processional and recessional music so the pace of their steps can be timed. The ushers should also be briefed on their duties. The entire wedding party should become familiar with the church/synagogue/temple. This includes the interior, exits, vestry, waiting room, and dressing room if necessary.

The wedding rehearsal should be scheduled for the evening before the ceremony. Allow at least two hours. The rehearsal should be pleasant and fun. This will allow you to relax, and be assured that everyone is well-informed.

A rehearsal dinner generally follows immediately after, and is traditionally paid for by the groom or his family. Be sure to keep it an early evening, however. Tomorrow, the day of your wedding, requires you to be alert and cheerful.